The 4 Most Annoying People I Met At Band Camp

I don't like people sometimes.

Like today.

Today was day two of Band Camp, which overall was an absolutely wonderful experience. The only problems? People. I mean, I do dumb stuff. Everyone does dumb stuff. But some people do so much extraordinarily dumb stuff that it's enough to make you cry.

These people, however silly they look, are not on this list.

So today I'm going to present you the 4 kinds of people that make me (and the few people I polled about it) the most annoyed. I won't tell you names, because more than likely there's more than one of 'em.

#1: The Snobby One

He/she doesn't talk to people outside their friend group. When they do, it's more of a one-way conversation. They don't try things that everyone else is doing and when asked to do so, they complain. They also seem to not like realizing that they are this person, and like all of us, believe they are wonderful people.

The difference is, most of us can pick out the word "believe" and laugh at ourselves. The Snobby One is incapable of poking fun at themselves, although they tend to be great at making fun of others. The Snobby One is usually a girl, as male Snobby Ones are generally not called snobby and just called douchebags. There isn't much of a difference.

If you encounter the Snobby One:
Give them no reason to notice you, or you may have to deal with them. And nobody wants to deal with someone who thinks they're better at whatever they're doing than everyone else. If you can't do that, then I suggest waiting until they're asleep, then writing expletives all over their face. Be creative! The more creative you are, the better they will understand your message.

Example Snobby One:
 

I feel personally victimized by Regina George.

#2: The Friend Who's Only Your Friend When Their Own Friends Are Gone

You've probably befriended someone, gotten along great, and you're all ready to be besties for life. Then, all of a sudden, someone else comes floating through and goes, "Hey, Name!" and your bestie-for-life is suddenly gone, attached at the hip to someone else.

They're usually nice, tolerable people, but they use you to entertain them when they're bored. They may not even realize they're doing it.
In some instances, this friend will not simply abandon you, but will instead make you the "third wheel" and pretend to like you. You can tell because you're never the center of the conversation- the Friends will include you, but not engage you. This is sometimes worse.

If you encounter the Friend Who's Only Your Friend When Their Own Friends Are Gone:

There's really nothing you can do short of confronting them about it, or ignoring them if you don't care about being rude. I suggest getting their attention back and affirming that you are a fun, friend-material person by doing something fun and spontaneous like throwing a water balloon at them to instigate a water balloon fight. Water balloon fights ALWAYS make you friends!
  

Example Friend Who's Only Your Friend When Their Own Friends Are Gone:

Guess which one is you.

#3: The Kid Without Social Skills

You've met him. That's the kid in your Algebra class in 8th grade, the one who made the jokes that weren't funny or kept farting loudly and giggling or had oozing zits all over his face. Maybe you felt a little bad for him, so obviously clueless about what's going on, at first. But eventually, like all of us do, you probably started getting irritated with him or her.

That is all, completely, totally a hypothetical situation. The author has never, ever been in that dilemma, not even once.

If you encounter the Kid Without Social Skills:

Option A: The Kid Without Social Skills may be your friend. In this case, I suggest trying to "cool"-ify them. Draw on a mustache with a Sharpie. Dress them in a suit and tie. Give them aviator glasses! But if they won't do this, then you could always dress them up as a monkey and start your own circus show.

Option B: If the Kid Without Social Skills is just the weird kid in the back of the class, pretend they don't exist. If you're a saint, take them under your wing. If you're a normal person, smile awkwardly at them and then complain to your friends later.

 

Example Kid Without Social Skills:

Now, I don't know this guy, so I shouldn't judge. He just.. He... Okay, everything about this guy screams "Forget this part of my life ever happened."

#4: The Hot One

The Hot One may be super nice, super smart, and a great person. Since I am a girl, I don't know how guys deal with The Hot One of their own gender, so that's why I won't go into that.

The Hot One is, of course, amazingly hot. It's like you took Angelina Jolie's charisma and perfect skin, and put it into a teenager. The rest of the teenage world is covered in zits and awkward growth spurts, but The Hot One has none, and has a great body. They're probably also talented. Maybe they're an artist. Maybe they're one of those movie physicists that can take off their glasses and let down their golden hair in one, smooth motion. Maybe they're even your best friend.

In any case, it sucks to be around them. You may like them, but they will magically make you uglier with every second you stay there.

(The opposite of the Hot One is the Fat Friend, but the Fat Friend makes everyone else feel good and so they can't be on this list.)

If you encounter The Hot One:
If they're the sex you're attracted to, don't do it. The Hot One knows they are hot, unless they're blind. They will also know that you are NOT another Hot One, and thereby ignore you, or pity-date you (pity-friending is also common).

Example Hot One:

If you're friends with her, I hope you're funny.

Now, I feel better about the world, and you are equipped with tools to deal with these people. Enjoy.