Music That Fits Way Too Well With Unrelated Things

Sometimes, songs you love to listen to can remind you of things that you never thought they would. These songs are all on my iPod, and have given me revelations when I listen to them. They sound a lot like the plots, characters, or scenes from other things- and that's just weird.

1. Mamma Mia - Super Mario Bros.

It's not enough that Mario cries "Mamma mia!" when he dies. It's not enough that he's Italian, and "Mamma Mia" is vaguely Italian somehow. It's also not enough that linking Nintendo to ABBA is really cool.
It is enough, however, that this song is an epic chronicle of his love with Peach.



"Mamma mia, here I go again! My my, how can I resist you?"



The song begins with Mario's lament of, "I've been cheated by you since I don't know when! So I made up my mind, it must come to an end. Look at me now, will I ever learn?"

This, of course, is chronicling the never-really-explained existence of Bowser Jr. Mario's only options are to go on the Maury show, or admit that his beloved princess had a baby with the villain. However, he can't stop going to save her- that would make for a bad game, but it also makes for a good song.

2. Build Me Up, Buttercup and The Princess Bride

Admittedly, this song doesn't fit with the whole movie. It fits perfectly, however, with the beginning, when Wesley is just addressed as "FARM BOY? FAAARM BOY? WILL YOU _______?" and he loves her anyways. Not to mention, it has her name in it.

"FARM BOY?"

Poor Wesley's stuck doing her bidding, although luckily for him she's hot. The song begins "Why do you build me up (build me up), Buttercup baby, just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around?"

He doesn't know. She doesn't either. That's not unusual teenage love, but in this case it's true love, so it's okay that at first she's a manipulative harpy.

"Polish my saddle? I want to see my face shining in it."

3. E.T. - Doctor Who

Now, maybe this is biased because of my unwavering love and adoration of David Tennant. But I've been affirmed by friends that this song is, indeed, about having sex with Doctor Who. We may never know who's the sidekick who got to do it (Amy seems to have gotten pretty close, with the making out on her wedding night and all. But so did Kylie Minogue, whatever her character was.), but someone humped the Doctor.

Boy, you're an alien. 

The song's bridge simply says, "You're from a whole other world / A different dimension / You open my eyes / And I'm ready to go / Lead me into the light".

That is obviously meant to be the Doctor. He is indeed from another world, and he can travel through time (good enough to be dimensions, right? Right.).

Although, Katy does get some things wrong. Namely, she says "You're so supersonic / Wanna feel your powers / Stun me with your laser" when only the supersonic part is right. It's not a laser screwdriver, that would be stupid. It's a sonic screwdriver.

4. Carry On My Wayward Son - The Prince Of Egypt

Yes. Yes, Kansas can totally write a song about Moses and not know it. And I don't mean the actual bible, either- I'm writing about the Dreamworks movie. (The Bible tends to have worse screenshots for me to use.)

Also, I'm totally backed up by this Christian lyrics site. Even though it has no lyrics there. But it's on there, and nobody would have clicked that link anyways!

Not to mention that it sounds a lot cooler when you mute your TV for the river lullaby scene and play this song. Try it, I dare you.

The face of Kansas.

"Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more."

B'AWWW. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

5. Every song by the band Scrum - World of Warcraft Dwarves

Scrum goes from serious beautiful music ("Caledonia") to a song called "The Scotsman's Kilt" about a man wearing nothing under his kilt, passing out on the street, and getting said kilt lifted up by "two young and bonny lasses". For fear of parents, I'll leave it at that.

This was on the Blizzard site when they announced a new festival ingame: Brewfest. If you know Oktoberfest, you know what goes on in Brewfest.

Dwarves are famous for their drinking skills. Scrum sings about drinking. They even have bagpipes! Since the WoW dwarves are supposed to be Scottish, this fits pretty much perfectly.

"The weather's always fine-- no rain in the pub!"

There's never rain if you're too drunk to notice! - paraphrased from Scrum lyrics

The 4 Most Annoying People I Met At Band Camp

I don't like people sometimes.

Like today.

Today was day two of Band Camp, which overall was an absolutely wonderful experience. The only problems? People. I mean, I do dumb stuff. Everyone does dumb stuff. But some people do so much extraordinarily dumb stuff that it's enough to make you cry.

These people, however silly they look, are not on this list.

So today I'm going to present you the 4 kinds of people that make me (and the few people I polled about it) the most annoyed. I won't tell you names, because more than likely there's more than one of 'em.

#1: The Snobby One

He/she doesn't talk to people outside their friend group. When they do, it's more of a one-way conversation. They don't try things that everyone else is doing and when asked to do so, they complain. They also seem to not like realizing that they are this person, and like all of us, believe they are wonderful people.

The difference is, most of us can pick out the word "believe" and laugh at ourselves. The Snobby One is incapable of poking fun at themselves, although they tend to be great at making fun of others. The Snobby One is usually a girl, as male Snobby Ones are generally not called snobby and just called douchebags. There isn't much of a difference.

If you encounter the Snobby One:
Give them no reason to notice you, or you may have to deal with them. And nobody wants to deal with someone who thinks they're better at whatever they're doing than everyone else. If you can't do that, then I suggest waiting until they're asleep, then writing expletives all over their face. Be creative! The more creative you are, the better they will understand your message.

Example Snobby One:
 

I feel personally victimized by Regina George.

#2: The Friend Who's Only Your Friend When Their Own Friends Are Gone

You've probably befriended someone, gotten along great, and you're all ready to be besties for life. Then, all of a sudden, someone else comes floating through and goes, "Hey, Name!" and your bestie-for-life is suddenly gone, attached at the hip to someone else.

They're usually nice, tolerable people, but they use you to entertain them when they're bored. They may not even realize they're doing it.
In some instances, this friend will not simply abandon you, but will instead make you the "third wheel" and pretend to like you. You can tell because you're never the center of the conversation- the Friends will include you, but not engage you. This is sometimes worse.

If you encounter the Friend Who's Only Your Friend When Their Own Friends Are Gone:

There's really nothing you can do short of confronting them about it, or ignoring them if you don't care about being rude. I suggest getting their attention back and affirming that you are a fun, friend-material person by doing something fun and spontaneous like throwing a water balloon at them to instigate a water balloon fight. Water balloon fights ALWAYS make you friends!
  

Example Friend Who's Only Your Friend When Their Own Friends Are Gone:

Guess which one is you.

#3: The Kid Without Social Skills

You've met him. That's the kid in your Algebra class in 8th grade, the one who made the jokes that weren't funny or kept farting loudly and giggling or had oozing zits all over his face. Maybe you felt a little bad for him, so obviously clueless about what's going on, at first. But eventually, like all of us do, you probably started getting irritated with him or her.

That is all, completely, totally a hypothetical situation. The author has never, ever been in that dilemma, not even once.

If you encounter the Kid Without Social Skills:

Option A: The Kid Without Social Skills may be your friend. In this case, I suggest trying to "cool"-ify them. Draw on a mustache with a Sharpie. Dress them in a suit and tie. Give them aviator glasses! But if they won't do this, then you could always dress them up as a monkey and start your own circus show.

Option B: If the Kid Without Social Skills is just the weird kid in the back of the class, pretend they don't exist. If you're a saint, take them under your wing. If you're a normal person, smile awkwardly at them and then complain to your friends later.

 

Example Kid Without Social Skills:

Now, I don't know this guy, so I shouldn't judge. He just.. He... Okay, everything about this guy screams "Forget this part of my life ever happened."

#4: The Hot One

The Hot One may be super nice, super smart, and a great person. Since I am a girl, I don't know how guys deal with The Hot One of their own gender, so that's why I won't go into that.

The Hot One is, of course, amazingly hot. It's like you took Angelina Jolie's charisma and perfect skin, and put it into a teenager. The rest of the teenage world is covered in zits and awkward growth spurts, but The Hot One has none, and has a great body. They're probably also talented. Maybe they're an artist. Maybe they're one of those movie physicists that can take off their glasses and let down their golden hair in one, smooth motion. Maybe they're even your best friend.

In any case, it sucks to be around them. You may like them, but they will magically make you uglier with every second you stay there.

(The opposite of the Hot One is the Fat Friend, but the Fat Friend makes everyone else feel good and so they can't be on this list.)

If you encounter The Hot One:
If they're the sex you're attracted to, don't do it. The Hot One knows they are hot, unless they're blind. They will also know that you are NOT another Hot One, and thereby ignore you, or pity-date you (pity-friending is also common).

Example Hot One:

If you're friends with her, I hope you're funny.

Now, I feel better about the world, and you are equipped with tools to deal with these people. Enjoy. 

How To Play A Holy Priest In Arathi Basin

If you've ever played World of Warcraft, you may have witnessed what it looks like when a priest (particularly holy) enters a Battleground. In this post, we'll use Arathi Basin as an example. They'll be standing beside the flag, guarding it with everything they've got and possibly even killing something on their own, when a rogue unstealths and kills them in one hit.

If you play a priest like I do, you may need to develop some coping mechanisms to win the Battleground, or at least not die five times in one run. These are my favorites, one of which I actually use.

#1: Stand by the opposing team's rez location and stun them. It doesn't matter if you die, because you'll be having fun (and maybe they won't expect it so you can get your first Honorable Kill)!

That doesn't work very well when some Orc Death Knight pops up, drinks a potion, and turns to you going, "That blood elf mage you killed in the last BG? That was my alt."

Spoiler: You'll die. Even if you look like this.

#2: Stay at the Stables. God forbid you EVER move, even if something else is falling. In Priest School, they'll instruct you to stand there awkwardly at the base closest to your graveyard, then cry when nobody comes to help you as you die. If you're losing, complain loudly in Raid Chat.

#3: This is the one I use ingame, because it works. It has a few steps and requires some materials that you may or may not be able to acquire, which is why it's going to be most of this post.

You will need:
1 good rogue
1 base that's contested, but not too much (I find that Gold Mine or Lumber Mill works the best. Just.. Not the Farm. Ever.)
Yourself
A lack of dignity

You have that? Good. Here's what you do.

As soon as you enter the BG, call out incessantly in Raid Chat for any rogues willing to help you. If they don't respond, then just keep talking. It's not you. Obviously, it's that they're too shy to go along with your great plan.

Eventually someone should respond. Message them and convince them to come to your chosen base with you. Caps lock is the best for this. It will convince them that you believe in your strategy so much that YOU ARE TYPING LIKE THIS JUST TO SHOW THEM.

Other people may follow you and your new Rogue buddy to the base. Pretend they do not exist or they will swarm you like Murlocs at Crystal Lake going "HEY, WHATS GOING ON? LOL".

Once you have your rogue, ask them to (or refuse them buffs if they don't) stealth right next to you at the base's flag. It's best if the other players (the ones who aren't supposed to be there anyways) hide. Or leave. Leaving is just as good, although maybe you should keep some if you're not as confident.

(Here's a tip for being confident: Make a druid. Spec them to be a tank. DONE. YOU ARE NOW WAY TOO CONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITIES.)

Now that you're all in place, give up on killing anything. Your wonderful, very important job is to be bear bait. Sometimes, this is literal, but mostly it'll just be Hordies. (Or Alliance, if you're a looooser.)

So stand still. Just kinda chill. Maybe dance. If you're a female night elf, definitely dance. Eventually someone will come running up to attack you. Sometimes they even take two or even three hits to do it! Then, while the attacker is murdering you with ruthless abandon, your rogue will unstealth and stab them.

Rogues are good at that.

This is a Spirit Guide. She rezzes you. Get used to seeing her.

At this point any other people there will run out asking what happened and why the priest is dead. This strategy works especially well on rogues who like to "ninja" capture bases. They unstealth, seeing no danger, when in just a few seconds they'll look like Colonel Ackbar as they scream in rage "IT'S A TRAP!!" at their computers.

At least, that's how I like to picture it.

Good luck, my fellow priests. Try not to die.